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  • John Kim

Depressed at Night

Psalm 94:19 “In the multitude of my anxieties around me, your comforts delight my soul.” The other night when we came out of quarantine Kyan struggled to get to sleep. After some tossing and turning, he started to say things like “I can never fall asleep when I’m in this house” and “I always get depressed at night.” He started crying the sort of tears that pull at a parent’s heart strings. When we get down we tend to externalize and universalize our emotions. “I’m not feeling so great now” turns into “life is always so hard.” The norm for Kyan is to sleep in this house in a more-than-fine state of mind, so his statements about always getting depressed and never being able to sleep were a classic case of globalizing a local feeling. I knew that giving him some screen time would fix the issue at least temporarily, but instead I explained some of these concepts and tried to help him realize that life ain’t all that bad. Well this morning I read Psalm 94, and verse 19 popped out at me. I do know that in some instances God sends creature comforts to relieve my anxieties, but upon digging in I realized that the Hebrew word for “comfort” here is more a type of consolation than a creature comfort. It’s more of God trying to shift my perspective back towards his instead of changing my circumstances. It’s more telling me why it’s going to be ok instead of throwing screen time at the problem. Lord I have faith for changed circumstances, and I continue to pray for supernatural outcomes. But I know that you have work to do on the inside before you change what’s on the outside. I come into line with your perspective today, and thank you for being an awesome God, a loving Father, and a loyal friend. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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