Touchy Feely

Psalm 13 “How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? … But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.” Over the last couple days I’ve felt a wide range of emotions. From fear about my dad’s diagnosis to anger at President Moon for causing the Korean medical union strike, it’s taken a lot out of me to process these feelings in the midst of a crazy work schedule. I minored in cognitive science in college, and loved looking at how people act like computers. This framework attempts to break down all human behavior into processing between inputs (fist coming my way) and outputs (duck!) If we’re like computers, then we can reprogram ourselves to make more optimal decisions. From this starting point, I always tried to engineer my emotions. Why be controlled by my emotions if I can control my emotions for outcomes that I desire? So this morning I felt some guilt about my feelings. Fear and anger don’t get me to optimal outcomes. But God brought me to Psalm 13 where David cries out with raw emotion to his Father in heaven. Through this process God brings peace to David’s soul. “John you’re not a computer. You’re a person. You’re a son, whom I love. With you I’m well pleased. Be real with your emotions. Be real with me. We’ll work through it together.” Thank you Father for speaking, for providing, and for always comforting me. I trust in your unfailing love. I rejoice because you have rescued me. I sing to you Lord because you are good to me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.