1 Chronicles 10:14 “But he [Saul] did not inquire of the Lord; therefore He killed him, and turned the kingdom over to David.” A few weeks ago, I had this idea that I should start playing the piano. I’ve tried to pick it up here and there, but always found it frustrating that I could never gain any sort of mastery. I was tempted to set up my keyboard and get practicing right away, but instead I decided to pray about it for a few days, and try to hear from God if He was really in this. Over the course of the few days the idea popped into my head again repeatedly, but each time I reminded myself of my commitment to give this up to God. After a few days, He gave me the green light to get going, but urged me to see it as a tool of worship, rather than as an instrument to be practiced. In 1 Chronicles, we see that Saul lacked patience in hearing from God. The Philistine forces, who far outnumbered his, laid ready to attack. Saul asked God what he should do. God didn’t answer. Rather than wait on God, Saul went to go and seek out a medium to try and get some answers. That eventually got him killed and lost his family an entire kingdom. So many times in my life, I’ve gone to execute plans that I believe are from God, without really hearing from Him. God can speak through open doors, through the counsel of those around us, and through circumstances, but to rely on these in the absence of a direct word from Him is like going to a medium as Saul did. Assuming that God wants me to take this job, or move to that country, learn so and so instrument… just because the door is open is a really dangerous way to operate. I’ve started to commit more things to prayer and try to hear directly from Him before moving forward. Right now I’m waiting to hear about selecting a tax advisor, and a script writing consultant for my vlog. I don’t have answers for those yet, but after hearing his ok on the piano, my fingers seemed to somehow supernaturally stick to the right keys over the last couple weeks. It’s opened up an entirely different way to experience worship, and God has really shown up in these moments. I have a long way to go, and a lot more things I need to commit to Him, but today I feel God letting me know that he is pleased with me, and that there is so much more to come. I love you Lord. Thank you for sending your son to the cross, so that I can have relationship with you, and so I can hear your voice. In Jesus’ most precious name, Amen.
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Acts 16:25 “Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off!” Lately I feel like God has been speaking to me about focus. Three times a week I lift weights, and this morning I tried to proactively pay attention to each little task I performed, from my actual sets to shifting my equipment around to changing the weights on the bar. I unscrewed the safety nut with the same precision as a Japanese sushi chef cutting his finest otoro. That took some getting used to, but I struggled much more to focus in the spare time between sets. Usually I’ll squeeze every last second with other activities on my to-do list like stretching, tidying or responding to the sporadic email. That inevitably leads to a situation where I’m mid task when the timer rings. It throws me off, delays my next set, and diffuses motivation to perform. But today even when I had a decent chunk of time left, I stood at attention by the timer just waiting proactively for it to buzz. After a couple iterations of this I found myself praying and worshipping in the spare time while at attention. I also found myself lifting more in a shorter time through the course of the workout. So many times in our lives, we hustle to cram more and more into our day, not even realizing that the counteracting impact this has on our productivity, and even more importantly our intimacy with our Father. Today I feel God giving a picture of Paul and Silas waiting in jail, not chipping away frantically at the stone floors to escape, but “praying and singing hymns to God”. We of course need to co-labor with God, but when we start with intimacy, incredible miracles that far surpass the yield on our greatest efforts take hold. Lord, I love you. Please help me to create space to proactively wait on you and to focus on your goodness. In your son’s name, Amen.
Genesis 2:25 “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.” Back when I was a trader at Goldman Sachs, I remember reading an interview where our CEO Lloyd Blankfein attributed the firm’s success to “the fact that we’re always a little bit paranoid.” Fear makes you work hard, and hard work brings results, so the logic goes. During this season, God has been good enough to grant me more space to hang out with Him. It’s something I’d been asking for and the encounters have kind of blown my mind. I know pursuing him with all my heart is the greatest commandment, and I’ve experienced how just a little dose of the Holy Spirit far surpasses the joy found in any worldly stimulus. But I must admit that I’ve felt conflicted at times. I can almost see Lloyd’s likeness poking at me “well don’t you need a bit more fear in your life? Clearly you’re not hustling enough. Get your act together!” Today I felt led to read Genesis 2 to get a sense of what life was like in the Garden of Eden. God placed Adam there to “tend and watch over it”. He worked and I’m sure he gave it his all, but it came from a place of communion, not of fear. We’ve been taught in Sunday school that nothing separated Adam and Eve from God’s presence until they bit into the forbidden fruit, but interestingly verse 25 (“they felt no shame”) provided the only direct indication I could find of what that lack of separation looked like. The Hebrew word for shame, “buwsh” can also be translated as confounding or confusion, and today I feel God reminding me that all I need to worry about is pursuing communion with Him. If I can manage to do that, the shame, confusion and guilt of wondering if I’m doing the right thing all melts away. Lord thank you for speaking so clearly. Fruit comes not from fear, but from communion with you. In the name of Jesus I reject the lies of the world. You are putting them to rest as we speak. I love you. In your son’s name, Amen.
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