• John Kim

Cool Mum Dianna

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Earlier this year, my friends Donovan and Dianna came by for lunch. Our conversation wound a long winding road of many interesting topics, and at one point Dianna mentioned that she was thinking about making a video for her vlog about sex. As I started to tell her about this really funny fact I learned about sex, she flipped on her phone and hit record.

[I paraphrase]

“Elaine and I went to this marriage workshop run by Bethel Church called Love After Marriage. We learned there that women have high levels of a neurotransmitter called oxytocin, which is responsible for making us feel connected to others. Men typically have much lower levels of oxytocin than women do, which is why women in general are much more empathetic than men. But the one time that oxytocin levels spike in men is when they orgasm during sex. So while a woman may see a man’s desire for sex as arising from some selfish need, actually the motivation is as much a desire to feel connected with their spouse.”

Well Dianna posted that video and it went viral. The real focus of the video was whether a 7 day sex challenge could save your marriage, and my segment was a small portion of the overall content. So I definitely can’t take any of the credit, but let’s say I definitely did not expect to become a sex expert to 700,000 people and counting.

Those of you who’ve hung around me long enough have heard me talking about how true love is treating someone as an extension of yourself. Feeling connected leads to doing unto others as you’d have them do unto you. Feeling connected leads you to love your neighbor as yourself. That is why the marriage relationship has been used to illustrate God’s love for us as the bride of Christ.

Last night Dianna dropped another video where Elaine and I made an appearance. It’s not typical church content, but we talk pretty openly about faith in it as well. If you’re interested to check it out you can subscribe to her channel at

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