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  • Writer's pictureJohn Kim

Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

Last night I went through my second inner healing session. Again it was really intense, really long, and really liberating. (I wrote about the first session here.) We spent a lot of time on breaking word curses, and I noticed that for me, the most powerful of those were words that I had spoken over myself. When I was 10 years old, I had suicidal thoughts because I felt excluded from a society that didn’t want to accept me as a minority. Unaccepted, disrespected and repulsive were all words that came to mind in characterizing my self-image. I realized that I had spoken lies over myself: that my life was not worth living, and that I was not worth loving. It’s been over thirty years since then, and though in my head I know those things aren’t true, I found myself weeping as I remembered that time in my life. We broke those lies off, and asked God what truth he has in their place for me. “Your life is worth living, and your soul is worth loving… loving so much that I’d even come die for you.” Words are powerful. We must use them carefully. Dear God, there are so many times in my life when I’ve misused words, on others and on myself. I repent for not taking words seriously enough and I thank you for loving me just the way I am. In your son’s name, Amen.

  • Writer's pictureJohn Kim

Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I’ve had irritable bowel syndrome since I was young. A few years ago, our pastor had asked me to share at early morning prayer, and on the night before as I was preparing I felt led to this verse. In the midst of asking God what he wanted to reveal about Mark 11:24, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, ran over to the toilet and proceeded to release my dinner in liquid form. After tidying up, I went back out to gather my wits, and again asked the Lord “what do you want me to know and share about this verse?” After just a moment I felt the same pangs, and underwent the same ritual cleansing. The process repeated a third time, and I subsequently came back and began to beg one last time… “God what do you want to reveal about this verse? What is one application area for this truth you have in store for us today?!?” “Hey John, how much clearer can I make this?” “Sorry God, you want me to apply this verse to my tummy? Hmmm…” Until this point whenever I prayed for healing I would use language like “God could you please heal this person?” but this time I prayed as if I had already received it. “Lord thank you for healing me of my condition. Every bout of IBS that has ever taken place since before the history of the world began bows down in submission to your name. It is all part of your kingdom and your domain. The battle’s been won, the war has been won, it is done because of what you already did on the cross. Thank you for healing me. In your son’s name, Amen.” With that I put my hand to my stomach, and I felt all my intestines relax. I’ve been healed of IBS ever since. I couldn’t believe it, but the more amazing thing is that this sort of healing has become somewhat of a regular occurrence in our church and in our family. Just yesterday, my father-in-law got up at lunch and rushed to the bathroom as he was choking on food stuck in his throat. He managed to get it out, but he was having continued esophageal spasms that prevented him from keeping anything down. After a few tries to drink water and resulting visits to the bathroom, it was clear this wasn’t going away naturally. So my son Luke and I laid hands on him to pray. “Lord every esophageal spasm that has ever taken place before the history of the world began, bows down in submission to your name. This is part of your kingdom and your domain. You love Akong so much… he is a wonderful grandfather, a dear father, an amazing father in law… but most importantly he is your beloved son. So thank you for healing him right now, even as we speak, you are relaxing his throat and bringing him back to full recovery. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” The spasms went away. He could not only hold down water but finish his lunch without issue. God is good! Heavenly Father, you are so good to heal us. Our job is not to “do” anything, but to come in line with what you’ve already done. If we can manage that, miracles happen. I look back and commemorate all the times you’ve shown up to supernaturally heal me and those around me. There’s so much more in store. Help me to align my heart with yours today. In your son’s name, Amen.

  • Writer's pictureJohn Kim

Luke 19:8 But Zaccheus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Yesterday Elaine arranged a zoom call for some friends to celebrate my birthday, which was earlier this week on the 10th. They came from different avenues of introduction and entered my life at different eras. One said “I’ve known John since 1992” and another said “I haven’t known John that long because I was born in 1992!” As they went around to share a bit about what they remembered of me, one theme that came out though was that of change. I think most of them agreed that I had changed a lot through the years, and especially over the last 5 or 6 years. This morning our pastor mentioned the story of Zaccheus in his sharing, and I started to reflect on what drives change. In the case of this corrupt tax collector, it was very simple an encounter with God. It drove a total transformation from a selfish man who had probably cheated thousands of people, to a generous man with a heart to bless those thousands back in multiples. Lord, you’re so good for chasing after me even in the midst of my rebellion. I have so much more change that I need to undergo, but I know that it’s not the change you desire, it’s the relationship. I just want more of you God… more presence, more encounter, more intimacy. With that I know incredible transformation comes as an outflow. Thank you for showing your face and making all that possible. In your son’s name, Amen.

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